Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Chris Jervis.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: He's an amazing guy. It's not like he's trying to sell you something. I started with relatively modest, if not humble roots. With a single mom raising three kids, there's not a lot of money going around. Everybody is missing something in life. I felt prisoner to my own success. The more successful you are, the more complicated your problems. Change is hard, Change is hard. I get it. Change or die.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: I'm gonna change things.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: So what the hell can we change? If we can see things differently, we can have some different results. What can you do to be different? Success is a team sport. But as an entrepreneur and innov, you're going to be alone. Got me out of my comfort zone. And then find a new path that works for you.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: Only on NOW Media Television networks.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: Welcome to Be the Giraffe. I'm your host and guide, Chris Jarvis. If you are looking for ways to stand out and reach higher in business, with money and in life, then you're in the right place. On Be the Giraffe, we meet the innovators who dared to be different and and stick their necks out. We learned how they broke free from the herd and used those long necks to find better paths. Today we have an exciting show. My guest is my friend, Devin Sizemore. If you don't know Devin, you are in for a real treat. He is the author of Connection Expansion. You are one connection away from massive success in your life and business.
He's the host of Aces Connection Group, where, get this, he helps people build better businesses and better lives through connections with real people.
Here's a real person himself, Devin. Welcome to Be the Giraffe. The giraffe sticks its neck out. It does things differently, it breaks free from the herd. And everybody today is about social media marketing technology.
You do things very differently, which is why I'm so happy to have you on the show. But you started a little differently. Tell us a little bit about your journey, where you started and then we'll move into what you're doing now for sure.
[00:01:56] Speaker A: Thanks so much for having me first.
And yeah, so I started in digital marketing. So I actually started in today's world with social media marketing, SEO, websites, all of those things.
But what we're going to get to is I didn't build that agency that way. I built it on connections and relationships even though we were in the digital space.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: Very good. So you started doing something and you had some success.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: Little bit of success. So we doubled year over year for four years, but started in my apartment, two bedroom apartment with the dog sleeping on the desk. And scaled to a team that was international. Hundreds of clients, one of the biggest marketing agencies in the childcare space. So, yeah, lots of success. Bought a couple agencies as well.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: See, that's a giraffe. He says he had a little bit of success with an international team.
So humble, modest, also helpful. Okay, so you did that and then something happened.
Things didn't work out the way that you, you thought they might.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I found myself in that moment of working a lot, making a lot of money in the business, not necessarily taking that money home, which I think a lot of people probably can relate to. Right. So seven figure business, not even a six figure income, marriage falling apart, health falling apart, everything falling apart. And so the outside perception was what you see on social media, success, Right? Like, oh, he's successful, he's at the games, he's courtside at the thing. But behind the scenes, I was falling apart. The company was successful, but I wasn't. The marriage didn't last. And so it was truly focused only on business. And no balance anywhere else. No. No looking at the rest of the package.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: So interestingly, with this book, before we went on, we were talking about the wow factor and the assessment that people take in the book to help make it about them.
I was on stage at a conference in Chicago for an insurance company with 300 salespeople, and I had people take the quiz before I came out and spoke. I gave up seven to 10 minutes of my time. And then I asked people what their high scores and low scores were. And 292 of the 300 had health as their lowest score.
So for those of you who feel like you're working really hard, you're killing it, you really might be killing yourselves.
And that was a line that I delivered on stage.
When I said, oh my goodness, 292 of 300 people say health is your worst score. I was like, oh, so you're saying this career is killing you?
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Literally. Literally, Yeah. I gained 35 pounds in the four years I had that agency.
And I finally had a mentor look at me and say, you're fat. Just straight, direct. And I was like, oh, like I needed to hear that. I needed to hear, like, you've lost your priorities. Right. And so, yeah, it was just, it was a very dark moment. And the outside perception was that it was super successful.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Right, so tell me about that. So people think you're successful, but deep down you're not feeling that way.
[00:04:48] Speaker A: Not even a little bit. Right. Like again, seven figure business, tons of clients doing great work, but probably at that point only making maybe 60,000 take home and led to divorce. And then I ended up selling the business because it wasn't what I wanted and it didn't jive with the values I actually held. And so I think it was a path of least resistance growth. Right? Like, it was easy, we were growing, it worked. But then you kind of find yourself in this wake up moment where you go like, what are we doing and why are we doing it?
[00:05:20] Speaker B: When did you first ask that question? The question of what are we doing and why are we doing it? And how old were you?
[00:05:27] Speaker A: I think I was 23 or 24.
And I was sitting with a mentor. So the towers I know is something we talked about. And so my towers, I had a mentor and I was holding onto my business. And what I found is I was in love with my business, not in love with business.
And because I was in love with the business, I was so, like, focused on basically choking it out. Right? Like, everything I wanted to do was for the business, and I didn't pay attention to anything else. And I was expressing this to that mentor, and he said, well, why don't you just sell it? Why don't you just get rid of it?
And I never thought of that because to me, I was building an empire and a brand, and it was my ego, it was my identity.
And when he said that, something broke, and I think it was about 15 days later when I signed the papers to sell the company, and it was probably 45 days after that, the divorce hit, and 18 months of chaos ensued. But the backside of that is beautiful.
[00:06:21] Speaker B: So it seems Devin's a little ahead of me. He had success earlier than I did, went through the divorce earlier than I did. Lots of things that we talk about in the book.
So we found that we're relating on a lot of things probably happening in exactly the same time just because of our age difference. So we probably were going through them.
So when you have good news, tell me. When you have bad news, don't warn me.
But the. Okay, so you mentioned the tower, the idea that you had mentors.
For me, I struggled sharing my fears, my concerns, my setbacks. That was hard for me. Somewhere you learned and you found people early on. Tell me about that.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I think.
Did I listen early on? That's debatable.
Did I find people early on? Yes. And so we can go to network marketing, which is something that is such a taboo topic. But I was in Amway when I was 18, and it was Actually a blessing because it taught me how to take mentorship, how to seek advice and education, read the books, listen to the audiobooks, which was great. And it humbled me because you can only get rejected so many times and have these problems and go to your mentor and hear the same thing again and again. And at some point you start to realize, like, oh, wait a second, like, maybe this person knows something I don't, and the ego starts to be receptive to feedback. And so I'm blessed that I had that at 18 and was stubborn for till 23 or 24, but. But I was. Had this notion that you needed mentors in all your areas of your life. So, right. Health, finance, business relationships, you need people further ahead of you doing better things.
And now that's all I lean on. I don't try to conquer or do anything myself. I just pick up the phone and have a conversation because I don't know what I don't know. And I need to know people.
And so again, blessed that I had it. Did I receive it early? Maybe not. I think that's a learned skill. But always was surrounded by amazing people doing amazing things.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: So that was where you got to. But before that, we're all influenced by people. People around us influence us in our decisions and our values and our goals and our aspirations.
We talked a little bit about the chapter about avoiding lions and hyenas and who are the people. So before you got there, talk a little bit about the struggles of trying to keep the people around you happy. So when you were going down this path that didn't turn out so great, you were focused on the business. You were focused on making other people happy. Talk a little bit about the pressure in that. That took place before the transition.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Yeah, it was.
I think it's this obsession with doing what you feel is right. And so I thought, you know, if I build this big business, then if I do this thing, then.
And I ended up in a partnership that was a little off, too. And so that gets to the kind of lions and hyenas where we had the wrong relationship, wrong expectations, wrong boundaries. And so I'm a people pleaser, and I always just give, give, give, don't set boundaries. And so through all of that time, that was a big problem, and that was a big problem with my first marriage, too, is it was just giving and giving and giving and creating a world where what my business partner wanted in the business is what the business became. What my wife wanted in the relationship is what the relationship became. And then Devin becomes This isolated person, which I think many people feel. In fact, I was just having a conversation with someone that feels that. So if you feel isolated, that's where I was. I was feeling isolated, even though, again, there was this perception of success in all these buckets. But it's because I was pleasing everyone else and I had lost track of what was important to me and what my values were.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: So the outside world felt.
The employees, the customers, neighbors, colleagues, family, all felt like you were doing the right thing.
And you. And you, you were feeling something different.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Well, they all.
There was nothing that would tell you I wasn't right. We had the numbers. We had the success. We had amazing team. The relationship looked good. We never fought. Everything was great.
But I lost myself, totally lost myself in this process.
And it's taken a long time to figure out what that means to find yourself or to find that kind of alignment with values.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: So we didn't have Devin on the show to talk about how horrible his life has been so that you can make a donation to his GoFundMe. We had him on here because the story has fantastic ending and continuation. But if you are running a business, you want to run a business, or you're stuck in your job and you don't have your business going the way you want, you don't have the life that you want, you're sacrificing things that are important to you, then it's really important for you to think about the next step of sticking your neck out and being the giraffe so you can elevate that perspective and see a better path in your life.
So in the next segment, we're going to talk about what Devin did, how he did it, how it had an extraordinary impact on his business, how he looked at business and how business integrated into his life to a place where he's happy, healthy, fulfilled, motivated, inspired. And that's the goal that we have for you. So after the break, come back and you're going to hear the next story about what Devon did, how he survived the drop when he broke free from the herd and how he found a better path.
Be bold, be curious, but most importantly, be patient. We'll be right back with more be the giraffe.
We're back with be the Giraffe. And the view from up here just keeps getting better.
Welcome back to Be the Giraffe. My guest today, Devin Sizemore, author, consultant, and master connector. In the first segment, he talked a lot about his life challenges. He had setbacks and living a life for other people. So A real common thing. I went through that. I think many of you may have gone through a very similar situation where you feel like you're doing things for other people and you wonder where am I and when do I get a chance to actually take care of me?
And if you're feeling that way, which is very common with entrepreneurs, you do all the innovation, you take all the risk, and as a return, you usually become a martyr in the system, in the situation, and you don't get what you want out of it. But there is a better way.
So, Devin, you went through all of this, you had a successful business, it was killing you, you got some good advice and then what happened? What did you do? What was important? What can you share that's going to help people who are sitting in that place where they're not.
What's the first step if they're not getting what they want out of their business? Their life, and they want to elevate their life.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So I recommitted to myself and it wasn't like overnight, it was brilliance. It was 18 months of chaos. Right. Because when you rip the band aid off and you start to figure out, what do I want in a relationship, what are my priorities for myself, what do I want in a business? And you've gotten rid of the business, the relationship's gone and now it's just you.
It's a whole lot of soul searching. Right.
A little scary, little lonely, super lonely. Right. Lots of nights just staring at the wall, really inside your own head, right. Trying to figure out like, what is this thing? And through that I found the freedom to reprioritize, like what are my always and nevers. And so that's something that I talk to people about all the time, is like, what's important to me that I will always do for myself and for other people and what are things I will never do? Because that never list is critical. Right. So I don't want to compromise my nights and weekends anymore. I don't want to only serve others and have one way relationships. And so it allowed me to start building and figuring out like, what do I want to build and how do I want to build it so that I am having massive impact because that's super important to me. But I'm also being fulfilled and prioritizing my health and my family now and my relationships. And so that 18 kind of month journey into really figuring out what my grown up consulting business will look like and how I build it in a way that prioritizes those things that was an interesting journey.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: So tell me when, when you made that decision to break free from the herd, leave the life that you had.
Giraffes are non migratory. They're not, they don't work in a herd and go through a predictable pattern like most migrating animals.
But most animals like the safety of numbers. That's their defense mechanism. So if you're in a big group, you want everybody to stay in the group and when somebody leaves, there's a little throw threatening, you know, they don't, they don't like that. Right. They want everybody to come back to the herd and feel safe about what they have. The giraffe is very different.
You were doing something different. How did the herd respond?
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it shook out the herd. Right. So I think what happened is the draft showed up. Right. And the people that I knew were going to support me no matter what, were there for the right reasons, were the right people. And then everyone else kind of fell away.
Um, and I don't really miss any of it because the new circle of people is so much better. Um, but I did lose some friendships, we did lose some relationships. Some of those things went away because they were one sided relationships that wanted us for the marketing agency or they wanted us for the thing. And when all that stuff goes away, all of a sudden you realize, well, there was actually no relationship, there was no connection, it was very one sided. And so it shook out all those relationships too. And now like my inner circle is brilliant. The people around me are great because they're all real people, but was super.
[00:15:55] Speaker B: Lonely and difficult to make that transition.
[00:15:57] Speaker A: 100%. Like 100%. Lots of late nights, lots of staring at the abyss going, what are we doing? Why are we doing it?
[00:16:04] Speaker B: But you can't leave the unhappy, the uncomfortable and get to the more comfortable, the more fulfilling. Unless you actually go through that.
[00:16:11] Speaker A: Yeah. No one falls up a mountain, right? So no one, no one's ends up on the top of Mount Everest on accident. Right. You have to do the work, you have to go through the struggles. And it's the same with this, right? You're heading into the valley, you got to walk through the valley. Right? And so in that moment it was just stumbling forward and yeah. Bad business decisions, other things came up, testing boundaries, all the things that push back on you to go like, hey, are you really going to step into what you were trying to say you're stepping into? Are you going to have those boundaries? Are you going to withhold them? Are you going to stand on your values? Are you Going to do the principles? Are you going to enforce the always in every list, or was that just a thought exercise? And so as you come out with that, you start to realize, like, no, this is who I am, and this is how I'm going to build it. And my superpower is this. I'm going to lean into it. I'm going to surround myself with people I love. That's the world we're going to live in, and that's where we live today.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: So when you make the transition, you leave the life that you have. You have to say goodbye to some people, including the older version of yourself.
And then you. But we're all very social animals. We want to connect with people. So in the first segment, you talked a little bit about mentors.
So when you were going through that, who did you look to and who was helpful? And what can people. What can the audience look for? So when you're leaving that life, you don't want the.
What does that path look like? What did you do? Because it seems like that had a huge impact on your life.
[00:17:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it laid the foundation for the book. It laid the foundation for everything today. Because what I came out of all that with is an amazing network.
That network carried me through because anything I needed, whenever I needed it, was one phone call away. And so I think, you know, we were talking before we hit record about, you know, I need a place to stay. Like, when you get divorced, there's this moment of, like, needing a place to stay. Took one phone call, and I had 21 nights covered in hotels with no cost because I had a friend that leaned in and said, let me solve that problem. And so from that moment on, I started to realize that, like, that's the value. The value is this network of people that respond because I have given. So this is where being a giver is great. Because now at some point, you can ask for it back, which is the hardest part.
But that's what carried me through was having this network of people that supported me through the process and amazing people who showed up when I least expected it. Right. Things you don't ask for. You know, I was interviewing for a job, and I had no cash to get over the hill to interview for the job. Yet money shows up in my wallet. I didn't ask for it, but I had the right person in the right moment. Observe and go, you know what? Let me help you on that. And now it's much bigger deals and bigger conversations and bigger impact, but it's all the same fundamentals of Having this amazing network that you've nurtured that responds when you need it and when you're in a dark moment, that's when you need it most. Right. When everything's great. Yes, we want it because we're going to do big deals and big things are going to happen.
But when something hits you, the best and easiest way to react is to be able to pick up the phone and have every answer.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: More similarities in our life, the more we get to know each other, which is very inspiring and troubling perhaps at the same time.
But this idea of having people there for you, that takes a big step because you have to then be vulnerable and be open to letting people know what's not working.
You go from. It's all. When you ask people, how's everything going? If I walk into a sales conference or I walk up on stage and ask people, how are you doing? Everybody says, I'm good, I'm good, or I'm great, right? That's the answer. I'm great. And that's the go to is I'm doing great. And it's not an issue of oversharing, but it's the idea of being okay with letting people know that you're not great. Because how else would these people know to help you?
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Yeah. So our kind of tagline now is real people, real conversations, real connections.
So the real people part is that we've started in segment one, talking about social media, right. And how people are marketing there. And there's that facade on social. Everything's great. This is my perfect life. This is the perfect impact.
That's not real. That's not who you are. What's great is when people ask me now, like, well, who are you really? I am who I am. Right now, as we're talking, as we are at the bar, as we are at the dinner, as I am with my family, like, I am me, because that's the journey we went on.
Real conversations is, you have to be open and honest to, hey, what you said bothers me. Let's talk about it. Hey, I have a boundary there. Let me explain the boundary. Or, hey, you know what? I am struggling today. This is what I'm struggling with. Can we have a conversation on that? Maybe you have insight, right? So you have to have real conversations.
And those two things combined equal. Real connections, right? Where you have real connections with people, where they know like, and trust you. They can ask you for stuff. You can ask them for stuff that's real.
That's the outcome of everything. We've been talking about because that is what everybody actually wants. And in a day of AI, in a day of social media, people want it more now than ever.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: It's interesting. When I was 40, I went through a divorce. And the lawyers took advantage of the situation and convinced they fueled the fire. So all the money went to the lawyers. And then subsequently, my business partners took it as an opportunity to push me out of a company when I had no money to defend myself. And the company was worth probably around $8 million. And I didn't get more than 20% of what my shares were worth. But when I didn't have.
When I didn't have that, I had a client literally give me money to afford a place to live, pay my expenses, and start a company. And I must have thanked him 25 times.
And in that process of thanking him 25 times, at one point he stopped me and said, stop thanking me.
You reap what you sow.
And then he said, that's usually used in a negative connotation that you were a bad person, so you're going to get bad things. He's like, you've been a great person. You've done great things for me and great things for other people. I'm in a position to help you. And it was an amount of money that I never could have asked anybody for, but it really did go to that place. And I wasn't good for 20 years, so I could do that. It was, you just did good things and you took care of people and then you shared with people when you had challenges and people want to help you, which goes, again, to real people and real connections and real conversations.
So again, we went through very similar paths. So for those of you looking at this, this idea of doing good things, we can't go back in time, but you've done good things. You've helped people. You know people don't be afraid to have the conversations with them so that they can help you, help you on your journey. This is. This is a group thing we're going through in life.
So this is the personal life. So how is that wrapped up for you?
What's a big takeaway you have on your personal life before we get to how you've transformed this into a super successful, fantastically impactful business? We're going to do that in the next segment. But tell me just last words for the audience on personal life. Putting yourself out there, realizing how you're going to get to where you need to be and how difficult that process can be, and any words of Inspiration or encouragement for people who might be going through a little bit of that.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah. So I wake up every day and I'm super comfortable, super content, and never worried about anything.
That's crazy like that. Everything I just said is a crazy statement when you think about the chaos and the darkness that was there.
But it's because I know it's important to me, and I've surrounded myself with amazing people like yourself, and because of that, I can thrive. And I've reprioritized health. I've reprioritized my family. Right. I get to pick my daughter up from the bus and walk home with her and do homework, and we have dinner as a family. I wake her up every morning and hug her. My wife and I travel and go on trips together. Like, there's. There's balance, and balance is seasonal. Right. But balance in the right way, where the right things are prioritized. And so I think the message I want for people to hear is that you can have that, but you've got to reprioritize yourself, your health and your wealth.
[00:24:01] Speaker B: That's fantastic. So stay tuned. In the next segment, we're going to talk about how you take that balance and get a little out of balance so you can be more successful in your business. Make sure you don't miss it.
Be bold, be curious, but most importantly, be patient. We'll be right back with more Be the Giraffe.
Foreign.
We're back with Be the Giraffe, and the view from up here just keeps getting better.
Welcome back to Be the Giraffe. Today's guest, Devin Sizemore, has been super vulnerable in sticking his neck out and sharing his journey in his life. Challenges that he went through, changing industries, changing business, going through a lot of interesting life challenges.
Very, very exciting, very inspirational. Thank you for being so open.
There's this old saying that how we do something is how we do everything. And you made this massive transformation. Personally, got through it, went through a lot of challenges, and then you've built a business that is.
We've become friends.
There are other guests on the show that have come that are coming on, that have come because of you. You've introduced me to one of the most impactful people I've met, and we just met someone that there is an epic partnership ahead with.
You're getting in rooms with people you're much younger than I am, and you're getting in the rooms that I want to be in. So you've done some awesome stuff. I'm so happy you're here.
I Love the success you're having.
But before we get to that, tell people about the transition you made. The transition to make yourself, to take care of yourself. You were aware of what that was so that you could see it in other people. And it led you into this amazing connection, expansion book and process and way of life.
Please tell me how that happened.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I leaned back on consulting. Right. It's the one thing that's always been consistent. Even through all the those other things. I was always consulting. I have a passion for helping people.
The one skill I know I'm good at is helping other people make a lot of money. And so I just leaned into it. But I started as a generalist. And so even when I had my marketing agency, clients would lean in and say, like, how do I close the deals you're helping us generate? How do I optimize and systemize this business that's now getting bigger? And so that's fun, that's great. I was a generalist. What I found in the generalist world is it's really hard to pitch being a generalist. Right. Like, what do you do? I help people solve problems.
Okay, what does that mean? How do you do it? Like, there's so many more questions and so it took a lot of time to really lean in and figure like, no, what is my real superpower? And then how do I deliver that in a way that's going to have massive impact while fitting the balance that we talked about. Right. Prioritizing me, prioritizing the family, making sure that that's not being compromised in a long term way. Now you might do sprints where some of that gets sacrificed because you have to, but that's where we're at now. So if you fast forward kind of that seven year journey of figuring out this system was how do I build a system that's duplicatable and scalable and has massive impact?
And I want to build a company that supports that and has the balance. And so that's where we're at. We're having massive impact while preserving the wealth, health, the family, all the other things.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: But you've taken a very different approach. So in the beginning you told me you had this social media media marketing agency which is about going out to the masses of asses and reaching as many people as possible.
It was built on scale, but scale of reach. And now it's much more, you focus on much more specific high end stuff. You left that, you left the masses and went far more. Not that you don't reach a lot of people. But you're looking at targeted big impact solutions, not looking at thin connection among a lot of people. You're taking a very different approach in this business.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Yeah. What's interesting is when I was building my agency, when I reflect back and I was writing the book, I realized that the principles that are in the book are the exact principles I used then. I just didn't have language for it and so I was always adding value.
But what happened is the control what you can control principle was really born and that pulled me into this world of like, how do I go to networking, how do I book more meetings, how do I get more out of those meetings? And when I say get more out, we're not talking about generating more revenue, we're talking about more connections, more referrals, more stuff. Right. How do I nurture people long term? Like, what is this system that takes the work I'm doing and amplifies it and makes it exponentially more impactful? I was already doing all that.
The issue was I wasn't intentional. Now for the last seven years, we've been intentional and we've been able to get reps at the system to make sure it works. And so yes, now we're all about conversations with people, whether it's a group setting or a one to one and exploring a bigger picture. We're not just chasing revenue. Right. We're not chasing these other things. What we're chasing is huge opportunities. And so for our clients and for myself, I want you to find yourself in rooms where the. The authority. I want you to find yourself in rooms where competition doesn't even play. I want you to find yourself in experiences you didn't even know exist.
That's what we chase now is like these really cool moments. And the subtitle of the book is Everything. Right. You're one connection away from massive success in your life and business. One. One connection. Not a thousand connections, one. Because that one connection. And you have people that have done that for you and open the right doors. That's what we want for everybody. That way, whenever you need something, it's there.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: So I love the intentionality comment because you made in your personal life, you were very intentional about, I want something different, I want something better. And then in your business you went to, I'm going to do something better for you. And what I've enjoyed about the conversations we've had off here is Devin realized that the most valuable thing with his clients was their time.
The time was something that they didn't have.
And so you wonder how someone in his 30s gets an audience with people in their 50s and 60s and 70s who are super successful. It doesn't make sense. You weren't born into a rich family with lots of contacts, but you've made your way into these rooms because you create value in places that other people don't.
And so talk a little bit about that and even the way that you charge, it's an important lesson for people on how to solve problems differently, give people what they're not getting.
I have another follow up question, but share that one because I want to use that for myself.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: So this is where I start to geek out. So it's great. But in the book I talk about it as the referral dilemma.
So I think the truth is everybody wants more referrals, but they have no clue how to get them. So they ask clients for referrals. Or maybe they have one or two referral part partners. Well, what if you had 200 referral partners, right? What if you had all these people advocating and opening doors for you?
That's what we solved, right? And so what I did is I took a problem and solved it with a system that's duplicatable and scalable. And so, yeah, I may be able to do these things. The good news is, so can everyone listening. College kid, business owner, billionaire, can all use the system, because the system is just a system. And so if you follow the five core principles and you implement the system without changing anything, you don't need to change the templates, you don't need to innovate, you don't need to do anything different.
You can find yourself recording a TV series and flying in and doing crazy stuff because you're adding value the right way and you're positioning your value the right way, right? And so it's got to be both sides. Are you making connections and adding value? And then are you positioning your ask properly so that your network can elevate you into the rooms that you want to, to play in?
That can all be done. And six months from now you might open a door that unlocks something for your business or your life.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: It's so fascinating that you're so good at asking questions, which is something that most people.
My dad was a salesman and he would say, you have two ears and one mouth. You should listen twice as much as you talk. And so the thing about asking questions is you should ask questions and then you should listen to the answer and what's said, you should also listen to the answer and what's not said.
And you do a great job with that. And that is helping people figure out even that interesting question of who's your best client?
Then we'll have this conversation like, why are they your best client? What do they need? What's the outcome? What can you give them? It's again, us running parallel lives. Every time I get brought in for a corporate consulting gig, the first thing that we do is survey the people. We give them the wild factor to figure out what's going on with all your people. But then we survey them on what's working, what's not working. It's just amazing. If you ask people what's going on, what is it like working here? What is it like working with you? What is it like working with me? What is it like working in the studio?
People don't stop to ask the question.
And I've done some work with Jack Canfield before I wrote this book, he wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul. And he had given me a piece of advice that made me think of you.
It was, ask your spouse. If you're bold enough, on a scale from 1 to 10, how am I doing?
Ask your spouse, ask your kids. I did ask my teenagers. Not recommending that, but no, it's a good. I did ask my kids, and my wife is. On a scale from 1 to 10, how am I doing?
And of course, any answer other than a 10, there's a second question, question, and what can I do?
And so if you really take that question asking, people tell you things that they wouldn't tell their marketing director, they wouldn't tell their salespeople. Tell us a little bit about those questions and what that opens up and how the art of a simple question can completely change your path.
[00:34:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So when we do first meetings with someone, it's called a connection meeting meeting, not a discovery meeting, because we're not positioning to sell. Now, if they raise their hand and want to buy your product or service, please, by all means, move them down a discovery process and sell to them. But when we're talking about a connection meeting, there is a formula. And the connection meeting is, where are you today? Who do you serve? How do you serve them? How'd you get here? So you want to go historical and understand their background.
Where are you going? So you want to anchor on the future. You want them to start dreaming with you, and then you want to advocate for that. Like, that's amazing. Chris, I love what you're doing. Yes. Love that. That's a huge impact. That's great.
If you do that part of the meeting correct. When you ask the next question, which is, what's your biggest challenge?
They're getting, they're going to answer with some superficial answer. If you haven't built a real relationship yet or what happens in my meetings is they bear, all right, they say, here's what's wrong. Matter of fact, this, this, this. And all of a sudden they realize, and they go, dang, I just shared everything with you. And then we ask, great, who can I connect you with and how can I help you? And what happens is, you probably don't know much about me. You probably don't know much about my service offering. But what you do know is I listened, and I'm positioned to solve problems. I'm positioned to provide resources to help you. Connections that can accelerate your growth or open up rooms for you. That's what we've done. And so whether it's networking, there's questions for that. The connection meetings, there's questions for that. And there's that indicator moment of, hey, Chris, what's your biggest challenge? And if you don't lean into that, I have to sit in that moment and figure out how to deepen the relationship, then otherwise the rest of the process is not worth my time.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: Very helpful. So if you're stuck and you want to make more money, there is a solution. You can do the same thing to more people, but you're losing the game against time if you do that, or you can solve bigger problems. And so I don't have any problem with people who want to make. Go from making $100,000 to a million or from a million to 10 million.
I don't have a problem with young people who say they want to become billionaires. I have a problem with the math since I was a mathematician.
They don't do the math right. And so the thing is, you can be worth a billion dollars if you can create $10 billion of value for other people. And you can either do that 10 billion times for a dollar or you can do it 10 times for a billion dollars. Whatever the number, whatever the math might be, but you have to create value. So the key is creating value for people and figuring out what's most valuable to them. And the only way you're going to know what's valuable to them is to ask the questions. So Devin has done a fantastic job at doing that in his career. And in the next segment, we're going to talk about what he does and how he can give you some tips and some tools so you can do more of this so you can elevate your perspective, see a better path and be more successful.
The giraffe.
Be bold, be curious, but most importantly, be patient. We'll be right back with more Be the Giraffe.
We're back with Be the Giraffe and the view from up here just keeps getting better. Foreign welcome back to Be the Giraffe. We are having fun today with Devin Sizemore, the author of Connection Expansion.
We've had, we've talked about a lot of stuff today and you've talked about change and mentorship and finding and, and shedding your past. You've talked about finding intentionality and what do you want and really focusing on that in your personal life and your business. You've talked about asking questions.
We've got a lot of high level stuff, but now it's, now it's tactical time. So for people who are watching, who are in that spot and they want to get to the next level, they want to stick their neck out, they want to elevate, they want to see a better path, what can they do?
What should they do? What should they read? What exercises do you have? Because you've got a whole playbook of tools to help people who want to get there.
Devin, please share. Give us some of the really good stuff now that we've planted seeds and let people wonder and let their minds wander now let's get them on the path and get them moving. What do you say? What can people do do right now to help elevate their lives, change their.
[00:38:30] Speaker A: Businesses, reach higher 100%. So let's, we're going to break it into some segments. But let me start with the five core principles. So the five core principles are critical. So first is always add value. That's something that I've talked about the whole segment, right? You want to be others focused. We don't want to sell, we don't want to position.
The second core principle is you have to control what you can control. So often in sales and marketing you push stuff out and then you don't have control over it. And so I want you to only benchmark your success, your emotions and your output based on the things you can control.
Three and four principles go together so it's never judge a connection or anyone. And there's value in every relationship. And so I need you to be open minded to taking every meeting and having every conversation.
And the fifth principle is the one we'll start leaning into as we talk about and unpack the system is you have to train by doing so. If you want more connection connections, if you want to find yourself in the rooms, in the. In the areas, you have to open those doors for other people. You have to provide resources and make connections. And so if anything we talk about, you're going to implement, but you don't go back to the five core principles. The system will not work because you're going to switch to sales mode. Commission breath will kick in and you're going to erode the system. And then if you're judging or making assumptions about other people, again, it's not going to work. So we have to ground on the five core principles, and then we can move through the rest of the process.
[00:39:47] Speaker B: I love that when I sold my company in 2016, I didn't know what I wanted to do next.
And I remember my team who was with me said, what are we going to focus on? And I said, for the next year, I'm going to focus on making 200 meaningful connections.
And we got to 285 in June, and. And it was just this moment of I'm not trying to get anything, I'm just trying to give.
And it's that energy of people and conversations and being in rooms where you're not in the lab.
And I fell victim of at times of trying to make things perfect and building the right funnel and write the right book and write the right assessment and do the things. And I go into my separate office, which I call my lab, and I just keep toiling and working up the magic potions and Dr. Frankensteining it. And. But what I realize is until you go live, you have to get out of the lab and go live and actually talk to people. Then you will get real feedback on your thoughts, ideas, concerns. You'll hear what people are thinking. Such a big.
Such a big tool and invaluable and something that just has me thinking, you have to test things by getting out.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: There and being in the room 100%. I mean, that's. This system has been used by hundreds, if not thousands of people.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: People.
[00:41:01] Speaker A: And it's only gotten so good because we have repetitions.
You know, I receive more than a thousand inbound connections a year, and I make more than 3,000 a year outbound. And because of that, we know what language works, we know how to follow up, we know how to add value, we know what works and we know why. Again, the core principles are there, but then the rest of the system, again, is scalable and duplicatable. You don't have to stress and put the hours into figuring it out. It's here, it's a playbook.
[00:41:27] Speaker B: So you have. The book is one way, Right. So people can get the book on all the.
I assume they can get the book everywhere through wherever books are sold.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: Yeah, you can get it on Amazon. There's an audiobook if you want to listen to me talk for another hour and 54 minutes, you can and get the audiobook or any format that you like.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: And then you also have, you also have Asus connection. Right, so tell us about that.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah, so the book is great for the fundamentals in implementing the system and understanding the system, but the system only works if you put it to practice. And so Aces Connection Group is all about connections. And so that's where you can lean in, be surrounded by people who want to add value to others and are open to strategic conversations.
That allows you a warm group of people you can tap into to start and test the process. Right. Have the connection meetings, provide the resources, make the connections for others in a comfortable, safe environment with other people who are. Want to do the same thing. That's the goal of the group. And then if we go to the inner circle, that's where I can help and support you. Because what's going to happen is you're going to want to slip back into sales mode. You're going to want to slip back into those old habits, the things that you know, and I've got to keep you away from that so that you can lean in and get that feedback and support on, hey, why am I having meetings but not getting results? Why are you making connections? Right? Are you actually following the process?
And so the core group just connections the next group strategy and support.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: So tell the audience a little bit about some of the people that are good fits for this and some good examples or testimonials or just anecdotes. Because sometimes people hear, well, you must be talking to millionaires and billionaires. This isn't for me. But that's not the case. You help people across all strata and different economic levels. Tell the group, you know, just a couple of the fun stories you share with me of just some people and what they've been able to do or just some of the industries that they. The wide range of industries of people who have been able to change their lives and kind of redirect their, the trajectories of their businesses and their lives for sure.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: So there's a bunch of what if statements in the book and those are all grounded on real scenarios. There are hundreds of them.
But one I use is like, what if you could find the perfect internship without having to apply?
What if you could find a six figure job without having to compete for it? What if you had the perfect business partner without having to go out there and vet a thousand business partners? What if you found yourself in Cancun for cheap? What if you found yourself recording a TV series? What if you like all these things are outcomes. And so the internship could be someone just starting in their career.
[00:43:54] Speaker B: So go into that one. Since I have a 20 year old who we just had a very.
I have a 20 year old, we just went, had an interesting conversation in a long car ride about an internship and how do you get one? So my kids and their friends are going to watch this because I'm going to make them.
When they're punished, they'll have to watch.
But for all the young kids who do want to be giraffes and be different, talk about that internship and how the connections, not just applying for things that are posted, but talk, talk about that. Because that is a big challenge right now with the younger generation and thinking, I can't find a job and yet everybody I know who has a company is looking for people. So you have an interesting take on this.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's the same strategy for each one of these buckets. Right. And the strategy is, if everyone's submitting one way, how do I do it different? If everyone's going to apply this way, how do I do it different? If everyone's on social media doing this way, how do I do it different? Well, how we do it different is we get invited to rooms and we work our way through it. So the internship, have you gone out and met all your professors? Have you had conversations with them? Did you ask them questions? Do you know their backstory? Do you know where they're going? Do you know who they know? Probably not. Have you gone out to the community and found people in the industry that you want to work in and said, hey, can I buy you a cup of coffee at lunch or dinner? I'd love to just pick your brain and understand it. Have you gone out and built relationships? Now what's great is with the book and the systems, I can tell you how to follow up, provide resources and make connections for them which will wow them, especially as a student.
That's how you get invited to the internships that don't exist or you didn't know exist. And that's what we did and that's what we help people do. And so it's the Same with the job, it's the same with the business partner. It's the same with the stages, same with the podcast. And so when you answer, ask, who is it for? It's for anyone that wants to strategically grow a network that produces whatever they need whenever they need it. And so, yes, usually that's growth and revenue generated, but it could be redefining your inner circle or your towers. It could be finding strategic partners. It could be affiliates, referrals, joint ventures. It doesn't matter.
Because with a thriving network of people who know, like and trust you and are willing to act when asked, anything's possible.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: I love that the Jack Canfield who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul gave me the motivation to write Be the Giraffe.
And I can remember when I made a pitch to him, I had sent emails over time on us doing a collaboration, and he didn't respond because he probably gets 10 million emails. But on his bucket list, he put Climb Machu Picchu.
So I took the same business plan I had. I printed it out on paper, put it in a little folder with a handwritten note. Then I put it in a box. It would have fit in an envelope, but I put it in a box, a big priority mail or expensive express mailbox.
And then I took a picture of me on Machu Picchu holding his book. I was actually on Hunna Picchu, which is the peak above Machu Picchu, looking down. And there I am holding his Success principles book. And I printed it out, put it on the COVID taped it, and then wrote in Sharpie, when are you going to Machu Picchu?
And he got it, responded. We had a con. We had a wonderful conversation. We worked on a strategic plan partnership. And it was. And the first note back was very cute with the box.
And that really was just about being different and about trying to just get somebody's attention, either by giving them something or being different, not just trying to be like everybody else.
[00:47:14] Speaker A: But you stood out and you added value, right? And the only way you could have done that is by getting to know the person, understanding what they were chasing or what they needed, and then solving that. So in that case, it was a representation of where they're at. Sometimes it's toy cars. Like, if I know you're an auto guy, maybe buying a hot wheel and just mailing you that hot wheel, like, hey, I was thinking of you saw this, right?
Those are all the love moments that deepen relationships quick. And so I love that example. And all that just adds fuel to the fire when you're building real relationships with real people and making real connections.
[00:47:44] Speaker B: I love it. Devin, for everybody. Speak for everybody who wants to reach higher. Elevate you. You get in the most amazing rooms. I'm jealous and I just love working with you because you get me into rooms, which is great.
But the vulnerability, the advice about finding the right people, letting go of the past, being intentional and giving value.
You deserve all the success you're having. It's great to have you on the show, everybody. I hope you got so much out of this and you think about sticking your neck out. If you want to reach higher, you. You have got to stick your neck out. Do things differently. Devin gave us fantastic advice. Please read the connection expansion. Check out his Aces opportunity. Because he's doing so much cool stuff online, you'll find him everywhere.
He's an easy guy to connect with. It's what he does. So I love this. Please click the link below. Check out all the free resources and little extra tidbits we have for all of you. Tell your friends and remember to come back next week. You can be the giraffe. Elevate your perspective. See a better path. Reach higher. We'll see you there.