Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to be the Giraffe. I'm your host and guide, Chris Jarvis. Perhaps you're wondering, why be the giraffe? The giraffe literally evolved to be more vulnerable. But the truth is that giraffe gets to see things others can't and reach heights and reach food others won't. If you are looking for ways to stand out and reach higher in business, with money, and in life, then you are in the right place.
Welcome to be the Giraffe.
Well, thank you for having me on my show.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: Show. Well, you're most welcome, Chris. Chris, I have known you for quite a number of years, and I have this notebook. It is full of questions that I want to ask you so that our audience actually gets to hear a little bit more about who is the Chris? Who is our Chris Jarvis? But first, I have this burning question I really want to ask you.
Why be the giraffe?
[00:00:56] Speaker A: I get why be the giraffe a lot. Perhaps you're wondering, why be the giraffe?
The question why be the giraffe? The giraffe is the only animal that evolved to be more vulnerable, not less so. We have predators and we have prey in nature. I love nature shows. I watched them with my dad. I had the best trip of my life. In 2003, I went to Africa for a month on a photo safari and it was everything I hoped it would be and more.
But what I learned about giraffes, again, predators and prey, they evolve. The predators get stronger teeth, stronger jaws, claws. They learn to hunt. They have night vision, things that allow them to work in packs.
The prey learn how to evade those predators. So they often go with safety in numbers, or they learn how to hide. They learn how to climb a tree or burrow underground or do something, develop camouflage. The giraffe literally evolved to be more vulnerable. It does stick its neck out. The neck grew longer. There's no other animal like it in nature. So you would think by becoming more vulnerable, then it would be extinct. But the truth is that giraffe gets to see things others can't and reach heights and reach food others won't.
So I love the giraffe because it is about evolving into being more vulnerable.
And that's what the show is about. It's about helping people identify vulnerability. There's a lot of reasons for that, but the giraffe is about vulnerability and being confident in that vulnerability and letting people see you for who you are and it's getting to authenticity.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: So you just said that, Chris, in regards to really letting people See who you are.
I want people to really see the Chris Jarvis.
So tell me, where did your journey begin?
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Well, you would think a TV host who's doing motivational speaking and doing all these wonderful things. I majored in math, of course. Of course, of course. No, my path started math. Major actuary. So numbers guru.
I was that kid who finished his SATs in nine minutes. At least the math segment. Struggled on English, but did great with the math.
I just had a knack for solving problems and working on math. And so I went through math, became an insurance executive, decided I didn't want to do that, went back to business school. So had a great career, but wasn't happy. So for people at home who have a career, you're doing something, but it wasn't quite there.
I know how you feel. I was there. And I burned all the bridges, went back to business school. I had a plan when I went to UCLA to get a job in management consulting or investment banking. And I took a Myers Briggs test because I was always searching for, who am I? I felt like I didn't. I felt like I didn't fit in.
And when I took this test, it came back as an entp, which was just four letters, but the translation was, if you are this, you are infinitely uninsurable.
And I thought, oh, my God, I just burned the bridges. I went back to school to try to find a better job, and then someone tells me, yeah, you're not going to like a job.
And it was the first time someone described me in a way that I understood.
I said, oh, these people get me.
And so I said, oh, that's great, except I don't have an idea. I didn't come to business school with the idea of starting a company.
So then I had to pivot again. So I pivoted to go to school, and then I pivoted as soon as I got there to, I gotta find something.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: So life doesn't always have the same.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Plan that you think life definitely does. Well, I think there's a plan for us.
I don't know that it reveals itself in a way that we would.
For me, the plan didn't reveal itself for a very long time. So there were bits and pieces and course corrections and deviation. So again, for people who are doing something, we can get on a path and start moving really hard. And what I found is that as an actuary, I was taking these exams because it was a task in front of me. I was a type A person. And I said, I'm going to do this so someone decides, I'm going to go to law school. So I'm going to do well in school. I'm going to take the lsat, I'm going to apply to schools, then I'm going to make law review, then I'm going to go become a lawyer, then become a partner, or someone's thinking about med school. And it's the same thing. You start down a path. And what I found for me was I was so focused on the path, I kept asking myself, how do I go further, faster?
I didn't stop to ask, should I even be going this way?
And so Even in my 20s, I started to ask a lot of questions because I wasn't fulfilled with the things in front of me. So that was a big. That was a big thing for me.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: So you're asking a lot of questions. So you're sticking your neck out like a giraffe.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know that I was so bold to ask, to tell other people that I didn't know what the plan was, but I was definitely looking. There was for sure I was for the people out there watching. If you're in a situation where your life, you've done the things you're supposed to do, you went to school, you did the thing, you got the job, you bought the house, whatever the next step is in life, it's okay to say, this isn't working for me and I need to do something. I might want something different for me than what I currently have.
And that's really a big part of what this show is, is to give people perspective so they can stop and ask the most important questions they need to ask.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: That's really great, Chris. And let's tie this back to being a giraffe in regards to. To, you know what I mean by that is sticking your neck out, being really vulnerable, and then somewhere, you know, along the way.
You met a giraffe.
Is that the case? Did you see one? Where did you see your first giraffe, Chris?
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Yeah, you see them at the zoo, But I was in Africa. I did have the experience of seeing giraffes, and it was. It was a cool experience. And even when I saw them in 2003, I didn't know it wasn't an epiphany. It was just something I saw, and it sat in the back of my head.
And what actually happened was I did all the things and I went back to business school. I found a comp, I started a company. It went great. We were growing, making about $10 million a year, and the company was doing 10 million in revenue. We weren't making 10 million, but we were doing very well.
And then I had a moment when I got kicked out of a company I started.
And so there was this moment of wow, again. I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do. I built the company, I made the money, I helped the people, I write the books, I speak at the conferences. And even then it didn't work.
And so there was this moment of, what do I want to stand for? What's really important to me?
And I went back to my clients and asked them, what do you get from working with me? The people I had the biggest impact on, the people who cared about me the most, or I thought cared about me the most. I asked the question, what do you get from working with me? And the response I got was, you help me look at things differently. You always give me a different perspective.
And so in figuring out what's my message, what's my metaphor, what's my logo, what am I going to use for. I'm a very visual person with symbolism.
It was asking people, what is it having that bold, strong, or courageous, I guess, bone in your body to say to somebody, what is it about working with me that works for you? What doesn't work for you? And that's when people kept saying, you get me to look at things differently.
That was where I came with the perspective.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: I love that. Chris, in regards to what you just said, that you look at things differently, come with a different perspective, you also said a lot of other detail that you discovered, skimmed over audience, such as making 10 million, losing the company that you actually built. And we're going to talk about that in the next segment. But right before we take a break, I just want to know. And the audience, I'm sure, wants to know why, if you have the millions, if you are doing all this, why are you bringing this show to the audience, to your people?
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
When I did that, when I did the ted talk in 20, right after Covid, it was called Surviving Ain't Thriving. And it was the idea that I feel like people, especially my kids, my kids had the greatest fear they had was being canceled.
And obviously during COVID there was a lot of cancel culture and a lot of. A lot of anger and a lot of fear going on. So I put out the TED Talk with the Surviving Ain't Thriving Be the Giraffe to encourage people to stop worrying about making mistakes and to start thinking about taking chances and doing things. If you worry about the mistakes. You're living a life of fear. But if you think about the impact of the things that you could do, it's a very different mindset to think about, to have this approach mentality versus this avoidance mentality, which I learned from the vice provost at the University of Texas, Art Markman, really smart guy, runs a great podcast, is a mentor of mine and a friend.
But he talked about that whole mentality is so important when you're studying neuroscience that for me, I wanted to help push people into how do you get to an approach mentality and think about what you can accomplish? And when you accomplish great things, you have to fail. Nobody learns to ride a bike the first time they get on it. Nobody learns to do public speaking or host a television television show the first time they get in front of a microphone or a camera.
And so things take time.
But if you're not willing to make mistakes and stick your neck out, you'll never actually grow.
So I'm really trying to encourage people to try things because it's not just about the money. It's about fulfillment. It's about impact. It's about joy.
I'm sure we'll get into that in the next segment.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: Definitely will. Thank you so much, Chris. Really going to be looking forward to that.
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Welcome back to Be the Giraffe.
So, Chris, in the last segment we talked about your show, but now let's talk about why would a guest want to be on Be the Giraffe tv?
[00:11:46] Speaker A: I have to be on the show today, but why would a guest be on the show? We talked about in the previous segment that people want people like to make connections. And right now, in the world of social media, with all the algorithms and the short attention spans we have, the data shows that you have to be impactful in 30 seconds, but you have to be really impactful in less than 5.
So what I find in business, websites, social media, in your reels, you have to get to the point very quickly. You have to get to the pain point of the audience. You have to hit them with the aspiration very quickly. So you don't have a lot of real estate to tell long stories.
So to win the social media game, you have to do things quickly. It has to be with a lot of oomph. So it's a lot of flash.
But what I also know is that if someone's going to hire you for something substantial, if someone's going to work with you, if someone's going to work for you, if someone's going to acquire your business, if someone's going to merge, if someone's going to have any deep relationship with you, they need to know who you are. Like understanding who's the man, who is the woman behind the business, the opportunity, it's so important to know that person. But we can't do that in the very valuable real estate we have for the short segments.
So the challenge is, how do people get to know you? You could put a video on your website, but if you just sit there and tell your tale of authenticity and vulnerability, it might seem somewhat curated.
And so I created this show to inspire everyday people, moderately successful people who want to get to the next level.
But for the guest, what I'm doing when I'm talking to a guest is I'm helping them in the 48 minute interview share their story in an authentic exchange.
Here's the great things you did, but what didn't work?
What were the challenges when you decided to be different and people didn't approve, or the people who were in your past revolted or gave you a hard time, pushed back a little bit. How'd you handle that? Because there's a lot of people out there who want to evolve. They need to hear from the people who have been successful, that when you leave something in your life and you're looking for something new, the journey between the past and the future is lonely. You are by yourself because you've left something you're comfortable with. The people who are in that space aren't happy you left because it seems like it's an indictment or you might be better than them or there's a lot of pushback.
So they need to know that when I finally want something better, the journey out is going to be difficult and it's going to be lonely. Everybody's excited about when you're successful. People want. They're jealous of what you have. They are not jealous of the work you put in.
And so what I'm doing with the show is helping the audience by sharing the story of the guest, of how they went through this, the church challenges they had, and oftentimes those challenges. It's inspiring to hear what they went through. So people who are going through the same thing will get that inspiration. But more importantly, what ends up happening on Be the draft is people share their stories of why they did things and so they Tell stories of their childhood. They tell stories of failed business ventures or challenges with their own identity or whatever their concerns are. Those things resonate with, and then you learn what's behind the person.
And so I built Be the Draft to inspire people, but I also built it to help successful people leaders, to help them tell their stories. So the people who might want to work with them or don't want to work with them will know, will do it for the right reason.
So if someone says, oh, I watched you on Be the Draft and I decided not to work with you, I say, you're welcome because I saved you. Somebody who doesn't care about you, the things that matter to you.
So that's really the reason to be on the show, is so you can get your story told in a way so that you will attract people who value and appreciate you for you, and you'll discourage people who don't seem to value the things that you have or that you hold dear.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Story is so important, and I think that's a really great way to have your guests explain and tell about who they are.
But today, Chris, you're my guest.
So tell me. Tell the audience your story. Have you had a time whereby you're vulnerable, that you felt like an outsider, that people didn't understand you? Did something come from your childhood or a massive loss?
[00:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a lot of things. When I wrote Be the Giraffe, I gave copies to or lots of my friends, close friends bought copies. And even my kids read the book.
And people said to me, I didn't know all of the. I thought I knew you pretty well. I didn't know all those stories.
And there are 14 chapters. It's 14 paths to reaching higher in business and life. So I tell 14 stories about the giraffe. And then I say, how do you apply that in your personal life and in your business if you want to reach higher?
So I had a lot of stories, and the book is full of them because it's the vulnerability that creates connection. So a book about vulnerability can't be the highlight reel of companies I sold and clients I was able to work with.
It's about getting to burning the ships to get to business school only to find out that job wasn't what you want. You weren't going to be a good employee starting a company, building it and then getting kicked out, building another company and trying to get kicked out of that, having a coup that I had to fight off. I sold the company and then had to sit in federal court for four and a half years to get my money.
And so if I figured out how much time I spent, it wasn't worth it. But there was this principal thing I was fighting.
I had parents come down with. I mean, there was a particular time in my life where my parents, my parents were both diagnosed with terminal cancer.
I had had a botched Achilles surgery, I had a back surgery that didn't work.
And then my younger sister died and she was transgender, had some mental illness way before it was talked about. And the health care system really humiliated her and just over medicated her to death. And she died in her early 40s.
And for me, that was a lot going on. I mean, a lot going on at one time.
And I mean, all those things happened. The two surgeries, going to court, parents sick, shortly after my sister died, all that happened in about a year.
And there was a moment where I said, okay, whatever I'm doing isn't working.
And I can remember seeing an osteopath who asked me, as a doctor, asked me 300 questions, and it was my best friend, business partner, Jason Plummer, it was his osteopath from Australia, looked at all my stuff and left me a 30 minute voicemail. But the short answer of the voicemail is, you've treated your body so poorly, now it's starting to reject you.
And it was this moment of, wow, what am I really doing? So for me, there was a moment of, okay, whatever I'm doing isn't working. I'm not getting out of life what I want, I need to do something different. And so all of that happened from, okay, what can I do? Rather than blaming my parents or blaming God or blaming whatever it was, I went on a different path.
[00:19:24] Speaker B: So what are you really doing, Chris?
[00:19:26] Speaker A: What am I doing? Evolving. I hope, I hope I'm evolving and I hope that I'm evolving and learning new things all the time so I can find.
Well, at first, I think when you're unhappy or you're uncomfortable, the first thing is extracting yourself from a bad situation. And that often takes, you need a vision of a better situation. So a lot of people who are stuck in their job are making too much money to quit, or someone who's a lawyer and then decides they want to become a chef.
Okay, so there's probably a lot of people watching the show who want to do something different. So you have to have a vision of something better to start, then you have to start doing it. And then when you do realize it's not going to be perfect, let's Go ahead and learn something about ourselves as we try new things to figure that out. And for me it was a long journey. I tried a lot of different things and it was not, it wasn't easy.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: Such as?
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Such as. So when I sold my company, I decided to go work with Jack Canfield, which is where we met. And I was working with Jack. I had great experiences with Jack. I did a number of things with him. He helped me.
He had a 10 day transformation that was free. I did made some significant changes in my life. I hired some Kenfield trainers, then I went to some events, learned some more work.
Jack and I decided to do a book together, which didn't happen, which is a different story. Maybe for another day, but. But a little longer, but very funny. And then Covid hit. So while we were ready to do a world tour essentially of events, Covid hit and that stopped, which I was crushed.
But not being able to do that allowed me to do the TED talk, build out the, be the draft book and do other things which has worked out really great.
So that was one of those times when I realized that something I wanted that didn't work out was a blessing.
And there was a. Yeah, that was really helpful.
That's a really important thing in life is when you can start realizing that things that are bad, that appear really awful can be blessings.
And there's something really special about getting to that place.
[00:21:43] Speaker B: Definitely. And I'm sure there's been other times where things didn't work out and there are blessings in disguise. And as you say, and I find it really interesting that you put yourself out there and put yourself in the room with Jack Canfield by first going through his 10 day free transformation and then actually right about to go onto a world tour with him as going from one side, you know, quite extreme to the other to being with Jack. And of course he's a worldwide well known name and most households, especially all the books he wrote with Chickens for the Soul.
I bet there's so many other times that you have put yourself in rooms to elevate yourself, to actually get that exposure with others, to really level up your game. And after the break, I would love to hear, and I'm sure your audience would love to hear all about that.
[00:22:37] Speaker A: I will, and I'll say, I will say one thing about the Jack Canfield thing before we go to break and that's when you find something you want, a job, an internship, something else, you need to do something differently. So what did I do? I went to Jack's events I got in the room with him.
I knew that climbing Machu Picchu was on his bucket list, so I actually took a copy of his book to the top of Machu Picchu and took a picture of me on Machu Picchu with it. I blew it up to 8 and a half by 11, taped it on a FedEx box with a note that said, when are you going?
And then inside was my proposal to work together. I could have easily emailed it to him, but when I sent the box, he got it. And then the text he sent me back was, cute idea with the box.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: That's brilliant. I wonder how many people in the audience are going to be watching this TV show and going, I'm going to take a copy, be the giraffe and go on a safari in Africa and show Chris that I want to be in the same room as him.
Thank you so much, Chris, for your time. Right now during this segment. We'll be right back after this break.
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Welcome back to Be the Giraffe. So, Chris, you kind of glossed over how turning it a negative into a blessing. And I really want to hear, and I'm sure your audience does as well, how this actually helped you in business.
Do you have an example that you can share?
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yes, I do.
My hero was my father. And When I was 8 years old, my parents got divorced. And that like many people who go through a divorce, it's crushing.
And I changed schools and I got bullied and beat up every day, and I was embarrassed to tell my dad about it. And I just looked forward to the weekends to see him.
And I can remember as a kid the fact that the two people who loved me the most, who would die for me, didn't want to be in the same room.
And for me, that just didn't. Didn't sit well. I didn't like the fact that my parents wouldn't be in the same room. They just, you know, they were going through their own stuff.
And so for me, I have always had this desire to connect people, probably by proxy. In math, the term is proof by exhaustion. You try everything, and when they don't work, then, you know, you found an answer. Whatever's left is the answer. But I did proof by exhaustion. I tried. I would always do things to try to.
I wrote the books and got the grades and did the Things and tried to. And I'd speak at some big event. My parents would come and they'd be in the audience. They wouldn't sit together, but they'd be in the audience.
And separately, I talked about the getting bullied part. I'd see my dad on weekends and all three kids would go over there. And because I was the oldest kid, I don't know how many times this happened. It felt like it happened all the time. I'm sure it wasn't. But as kids we have these moments. I know one that was hard for me was I was the oldest kid, so I had to be the messenger about money.
And so mom asking me to get money from dad, or dad not being particularly appreciative of that, would say something back. And so I became the messenger about money, which I hated. So I spent most of my life ironically hating asking for money.
So I would do things to help people and not ask for money. I gave a lot of stuff away.
And so I helped a lot of people didn't ask for money, which wasn't great for my career in my 30s.
But now I've built so much goodwill in my 50s because I did so much of that in my 30s and 40s. I helped so many people who feel like they're somewhat indebted to me. That's actually. It's helped. I wouldn't recommend it, by the way, but what I can say when I said in the previous segment, it's magical when your pain becomes the thing that leads you to prosperity and purpose and passion.
And for me, it was two things. I wanted to connect my parents and I hated the financial barrier, the fact that money was a problem.
And so now what I'm doing in one of my three businesses is helping connect people.
Companies to buyers, consultants to buyers, investment firms with investors, whatever it might be, families to long term legacies, charities to donations. I'm connecting them by eliminating the financial hurdle. So I found a way to do this.
And that's really fascinating that I had this moment of, oh, I can. I can use the math brain and use the fact that I can process financial solutions very quickly and solve those problems, that there's a way to do this. And to me, that was, it was an epiphany that was magical to realize the things that were painful to me are the things that drive me now. So in our Giraffe accelerator with Jarvis Morris, that's what we're doing is helping people who want to hire someone, they want to make an investment, they want to do something we help them find the money with tax savings. So it's house money. It's found money to do something. It's a whole lot easier to do something with found money than with money that you had earmarked for something else. So that's a really cool.
It's a really cool. Part of that business model is that I get to eliminate the pain because I probably have some more transformation to do to resolve that. But for now, I know that the thing that I went through as a kid is something that's helping me now. And I would say for the audience, instead of part of be the draft is acknowledging and being vulnerable. Vulnerable about the things that don't work or that you're not working, you're not doing well.
When you share with people, they want to help you. And so for me, I'm realizing the things that I hid from are actually the things that are leading to the most success in my life.
[00:29:12] Speaker B: There's so much to unpack there, Chris.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: It's a lot.
[00:29:16] Speaker B: There is a lot.
[00:29:17] Speaker A: These are chairs, not couches. So I don't know if we're going to be able to get this done.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: But it's relating it back. You help business owners, business leaders, so many different companies with the tax savings and you say is because you're connecting them together for people who are listening and really could relate to that and they might have their business. So they're like, oh, my gosh, Chris just said exactly what I'm feeling, that there's different departments, different people in their business who actually, as your parents, were not even being able to be in the same room, but they must connect together to really be able to get the business going even further, further ahead. So what would you say to the audience? What would you say to these business owners, to these companies, these people? Really, how can you give them the tip to connect together? Because you've sussed it. You know how to do it. Can you share something with the audience?
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
The first chapter in the opening of Be the Giraffe, the book there's the wild factor. And the wild factor is an assessment that I spent two years and a couple hundred thousand dollars of my own money building to help people figure out where are you. It's 20 questions.
It's 20 questions. It'll take you four to five minutes in the show notes. We'll put a password. We'll use my last name, Jarvis, to make it free. It'll save you 20 bucks. If you want to take it, I suggest you take it.
The benefit of the wild factor is 20 questions. You look at your life in five ways. Health, finance, career, relationship, fun. And then based on your scores, you're going to find out if you're an eagle, elephant, monkey, dolphin, or penguin. So now we have some fun visuals. Everybody can be a giraffe. So in addition to being a giraffe, you can be an eagle, elephant, monkey, dolphin, or penguin. And what I find is that when I've used this at companies and I've used it at places like Closets by design, I used it with Microsoft, I used it with a number of firms to help the employees to take this. So the leadership team or the employees will take this quiz.
And even if you take it for yourself, you got to take it for yourself before you share it with your team. But what you learn is you don't learn.
I'll say we don't learn. My problem with personality tests is it makes it seem like there's a preordained destiny that you have to do this thing because you're like, for me, I did it with the entp, I thought, I have to be an entrepreneur. I can't be happy in a job.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: For those people who might not know, can you explain what ENTP is?
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Yeah. So on a Myers Briggs, the E is extrovert, N is intuitive, T is thinking, P is perception. And the alternatives are introvert, sensing, feeling, judging. And so there's a whole bunch of options there. But I'm saying that you look at a personality test and it tells you what your.
What you're kind of people feel like they're stuck, like this is who they are, and they can't change it. The wild factor can change because the wild factor is not. Is not a preference test, it's a behavior test. So it will tell you what that dominant voice in your head is that's driving your decision making. And it will also tell you what you sacrifice. So if you get that score and your health is the fourth or fifth, most entrepreneurs have health or fun as their lowest score.
It's the thing that they just sacrifice when push comes to shove and they don't have enough time, which is every day, what do you sacrifice? What are you missing out on? And so when you take this, you learn, what am I sacrificing? So when I do a keynote speech, I will spend the first 10 minutes of every speech giving the wild factor and having people take it. And then what I say is, while you're at this event, don't just watch the dancing bears on stage and ask yourself, can I do what they do. The question you should ask about every speech, every podcast, every television show, every consultant, every reel. What you should ask yourself is, is what this person is telling me, teaching me, showing me, inspiring me to do, going to help me improve an area of my life that I want to improve?
That's the difference between context and content.
Content is just information. The question isn't, is the content interesting? It's is this content contextually valuable to me to help me with something that matters to me?
And so that's what taking this test is so important for yourself. And then when you give it to your team in an organization, people start getting curious, like, oh, Shannon's the boss and she's a penguin, I'm a penguin. We must have something in common. Or, I'm a penguin, I can be the boss just like she is.
That's an interesting conversation. So I find that people get curious about each other. Oh, we're really good friends. I thought we were a lot alike. You're an eagle, I'm a penguin. They're two birds. They're very different.
So it's a great way to get people to have conversations.
To your point, how do you get people to learn about each other and connect? It starts with curiosity.
When I saw Malcolm Gladwell speak, he said about his book talking to strangers, he said, in america in the 21st century, there aren't a lot of disagreements, but there are quite a few, quite a few misunderstandings.
And so the wow factor, again, it's in the first chapter of Be the Draft. It's @ChrisJarvis Me.
You can get it with my last name as a code for free.
It will help you see what's going on in your life, and then you can share this conversation with other people to figure out what's going on with their life. So I think all of this starts with curiosity.
[00:34:44] Speaker B: I think curiosity is so important when you're trying to get to know other people and relating it back to business. That's how actually, as well, companies grow and businesses by being curious. What else is out there? How can we help our clients, our customers? What can we do differently? What's our usp? Because the world as we know today is changing so rapidly, so quickly that we need to always be on our game.
So I think this wild factor assessment is very important to do. So thank you so much, Chris, for sharing that. That's really great.
And before we actually go to our break, I just want to hear one more thing from you in regards to this. And why is it so important to you. You're talking about why it's so important to everybody else. But why is it so important to you? Chris?
[00:35:34] Speaker A: For me, the things that drive us come from our childhood. So I already talked about the connection thing. For me, a lot of it is the not being understood. And really the books, the movies, things that have moved me the most have been situations where people suffer because they were misunderstood. And so the reason why I do the show is to get people to be seen for who they are. It doesn't mean that you're liked by everybody, but there's nothing worse than being for somebody rejecting you when you were pretending to be something you're not, when you could have been yourself and possibly be accepted. So if you want to fit in and you want to be accepted, that's what I'm trying to accomplish.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: Thank you so much, Chris. We're going to be taking a break now, but really looking forward to our next segment.
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Welcome back, Chris and the audience.
Before our break, you spoke about evolution and how important that is to keep evolving. Can you expand a little bit more on that?
[00:37:15] Speaker A: Are you asking me if I'm still evolving?
[00:37:17] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. Are you still evolving, Chris?
[00:37:21] Speaker A: I'm trying. I'm trying.
As recently as a year ago, I was struggling. I had had some success. I had actually signed the deal to do this TV show and it took me almost a year to film the first episode and more than six months.
And I was struggling a lot. And I went on to Mindvalley. No, it wasn't Mindvalley.
Somehow, as life would have it, something was in my feed.
And Michael Beckwith, who's in la, spiritual transformational guru, he did a little meditation that really captured my attention. And so I went and did a little more. I did his Mindvalley 28 day life visioning exercise, which was great.
But in the middle of that, there was an exercise that I remember doing this meditation exercise in my infrared sauna.
And this is only important because it was 150 degrees in the sauna. And when this happened, I got chills, which I shouldn't get, and I didn't have the flu.
So what it was was Michael Beckwith said that in every area of your life. And he has, I have five in my wow factor. He has more. So he includes spirituality and a bunch of different things. So whether it's your health, your finance, your career, your relationship, your purpose, your passion, your whatever it is. He said you can be in any one of four states at any given time.
You can be in the victim state, where life is happening to you.
You can be in the manifester stage where life is happening by you. So you're making something happen.
Life is happening through you as a channeler. So things are happening because you're open. You're not making the exact thing happen that you want, but things are happening because you're an open vessel. And four is life is happening as you. Which seems like something that I have not evolved anywhere close to, where we're all one, we're all connected, and everything is.
So that's something to look forward to.
But the important part was I had a lot of success and I had manifested a lot of things in my life.
But this exercise was about finding areas of your life where you feel that you're a victim. And I had two.
And he said, choose one.
So I said, I'm going to choose financial services. Because I had been in the finance world. I had built a firm that I got kicked out of. I built another firm that I'd sold.
I had done a lot of. I gathered hundreds of millions of dollars of assets for investment. I had generated hundreds of millions of dollars of fees for law firms and accounting firms. I had sold tens of millions of dollars life insurance commissions. I've done a lot of work, but I never felt.
I felt bad being in the finance space. And I felt like people who were in financial services are so focused on sales and commissions and fees, and they're not so focused on the client. So I always felt dirty. And also because of the lessons I taught about my childhood with money, I didn't feel great making a lot of money. So I'd finish a transaction, make a lot of money, and then feel guilty because the thing that I was given wasn't what I was seeking.
The reward wasn't what I was really seeking.
And I had some unresolved issues around money. So, anyway, when I went through that story, the most important thing for the audience, the question Michael asked, which gave me goosebumps in 154 degrees on it, was, take an area of your life where you feel like you're a victim and really think about it, and then ask yourself one question.
Assuming none of it will ever change the circumstances and the people involved will never change, the question is, what do you need to learn?
[00:41:14] Speaker B: I think that just gave me goosebumps.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: Me too. And I It's a really interesting story of what do I need to learn? And when I asked that question to myself, what I needed to learn was that I needed to learn that what other people do doesn't reflect on me.
If the other teachers in your school, if you're a teacher, don't really care about the students as much as you are, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be a teacher. Necessarily.
What people think about me is none of my business also. So I thought, it isn't about the industry, it isn't about the people that I'm competing with, necessarily. It isn't about the industry. I shouldn't be the baby thrown out with the bathwater.
That in that moment, literally in the sauna, I went from, I'm trying to stay out of financial services and do coaching and do business building and do entrepreneurship and raise money and help charities to no, this finance thing is actually my gifts and ability to see solve problems and to connect with the people who have the problem is a wonderful gift. And even though I look at it differently, it isn't a reason for me to not do it. It's. It's the reason to do it.
And so I, all of a sudden had this, no, I'm supposed to do this. This is what I'm. I'm supposed to solve these financial problems and help bring down barriers so I can help people. It's not about the money. It's about what the money is supposed to help you do.
Right? Money's great, but it's not just about the money. It has to give you freedom. It has to create impact. It has to bring joy.
And if it's not, if you're not doing things to have impact on other people's lives and bring joy to yourself and others, there is no reason to do what you do. And in that moment, I thought, my life is about joy for myself and others, which I never used myself in that statement.
And impact. Can I change people's lives? And can I bring joy.
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Again? So much to unpack there, Chris. And I wish we could be doing a whole other show where I'm interviewing you because just diving deep into your reason, because a lot of people are out there struggling. What is my reason? What is my purpose?
What am I doing in my business? Am I doing the right thing? All these things that I. It sounds like you were actually, when you went to Michael Beckwith's in LA and you went to his program, you are rediscovering what your purpose is, rediscovering what Your reason is. And that was only 12 months ago. Can you take us very quickly from 12 months ago to here? I am from London, England, sitting with you in Austin, Texas at a TV studio, and trust me, you look fantastic. You have a great energy and aura around you. And I know how successful you are in your three businesses and as well, how successful you are in, you know, all the books that you have written and the networking and all the other different associations that you're part of. And this is really in the last 12 months.
So very quickly, how's it gone since then that this realization inside your sauna.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Yeah, the realization.
It's so important to find your why, because when you find your why and why you do things and you have this vulnerable story, my story about my childhood and challenges with my dad, challenges with my parents, issues that I have. I just talked to two family offices in the last week where I told the person I met the story. And the response from both was, I love that. Because it wasn't just, oh, I found a way to make some money. It's, here's something I did.
This makes sense. And so part of it is finding your why, but then also realizing that even for me, who teaches some transformational stuff, I did struggle. I had that Michael Beckwith moment. And one of the takeaways from that was, if I do the finance, if I do the financial planning, financial advice for people, I can only handle so many people, one on one in a year. Maybe it's 20, and that's a busy year.
But if I could help 20 people, help 20 people by being the finance guru, but not being the life guru, not being the coach, not being the business coach who talks to them regularly, I can reach more people, have more impact, spend less time with each person. So I'll make more money and I'll have more impact.
But I'm not going to get to see. I'm not going to be the person who gets the hug and everybody and gets the. The whole family knows you and everybody thanks you. So it was really interesting to say, wow, I can actually have more impact if I can let go of my ego.
And so that, that part was the huge part for me was, I can make more money, which wasn't the reason to do it, but I can help more people. Oh, and by the way, you'll make more money and you'll have more time to yourself if you can forego the ego piece. And that's when I realized how big the ego was in holding us back, that I wanted to be the person that they said, wow, you're my best advisor. I run everything through you.
I did that for so long, which is how I made a lot of relationships and, and built a lot of positive karma.
But now it's like, okay, now it's not serving me. And I think that's a big question for the audience is what do you do? Well, that gets you where you are. That may not be serving you very well as you take a turn to evolve to the next stage in your life.
And so even for me, now I'm getting very specific on these are the problems I solve. This is what it is. I want to be able to help somebody who can help 20 other people.
And if I can't do that, if that's not a good fit, then there isn't leverage. I'm not sure it's a good use of time.
[00:46:47] Speaker B: I love that. Kris and helping others find their why by teaching others to help other people, Help other people to find their why. That's really great because there must be so many working the financial planning stage, helping people with taxes to save millions, all those things. You must have so many clients where they believe the reason why they're actually making decisions. Their why actually isn't the reason that they're doing it. So this might be leaving money on the table. I know you say it's not the only reason, but if everybody's making more money, you know the old saying, I don't know actually who said it, but you can't feed the poor by being one of them.
So if you can help more people by actually having better tax savings by investing in the right way, I'm sure this is one of the things that you're bringing to your clients, helping them to find their why in regards to financial planning as well. Would that be the case?
[00:47:51] Speaker A: That's it.
It's doing the work, it's asking the questions. It's getting out of the lab. I call it stop planning and start doing.
Start having conversations, ask people what they want, ask people how they want it, how they don't want it, and then listen to the answers. And that's the best advice I can give.
[00:48:08] Speaker B: So not pigeonholing people into certain ways or putting them in a box, or you're this, because you have that much money, you should be using this tax savings or this investment, when really that might not be the reason why they want to do it, because they could want to feed others, so to speak, to investing in charities, but maybe some other financial planners wouldn't actually allow them to do that. So I think this is brilliant. To really getting at the hard to why. And what about companies themselves in regards to helping them to find their why? What is it specifically that you're doing to help other people? To help other people find their why?
[00:48:45] Speaker A: I think we're gonna have to save that for the next episode.
[00:48:47] Speaker B: Okay.
Thank you so much, Chris. We are running out of time here.
For being vulnerable, sticking your neck out, and really helping others to elevate and yourself to your next journey on your next path.
[00:49:01] Speaker A: Thank you very much. It was great to be here.
[00:49:03] Speaker B: Thank you, Chris.
